You know what I find myself doing alot lately? Making reservations. No, not for any exotic vacations such as the one waiting to happening on my bucket list or an epic concert coming up. I make these mental reservations to do things with or for people who weren't even waiting on my arrival; heck, they could care less about my presence! Let me break it down a little more: it's kind of like when you go shopping and after each item purchased you create an outfit in mind, only thing left is an occasion to wear it out. Things may be in my favor and it goes as planned but more often, and honestly, my social life really isn't as glamorous as you would assume. The clock ticks, days turn into seasons and, ultimately, the outfit is pushed to the side for a gloriously fabricated occasion that's clearly not happening. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not.. a shoppoholic or a regular victim of retail-therapy.
We all have anticipations about the near future, good and bad. I don't know about you but I enjoy looking forward to doing something memorable with people I care about. Basically, I reserve too much of my time on hopes for things that are out of my control. I naturally think of others before my own need and it puts me in the most vulnerable of situations where I find myself angry and regretful each time. Yes, I have heard it all so don't lecture me about prioritizing myself and whatnot.
Date:9/18/2013 7:07 PM
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